it’s been a while…
… since I last posted something here, not a recipe, definitely not a newsletter, not even a single note.
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Yes, it has been a while but It’s not that I haven’t been writing. On the contrary I keep on writing weekly for my Turkish newspaper column and also gathering up some recipes for a coming book. It’s just the fact Substack in general has been proving quite a disappointment lately.
Let me explain:
Exactly 2 years ago I launched my writing adventure here on Substack. The promise was that this platform was about written word. I am sure, as many of you were as I was much excited. Here was a publication platform with no censorship where you could pour out your words. Words mattered. And there was amazing array of other writers sharing recipes, prose, beauty, feelings and reality. It felt I needed to belong here. Why that need for belonging is a matter for another post. But it felt good.
Starting by naming my publication Şemsa’s food per se, I thought I would be sharing stories and recipes. These two are inseparable in my universe. All the food from my past comes attached to memories. And vice versa, the memories were only memorable if they included food in them. Stories and recipes always intermingle with each other, that’s where my food and my writing come from. So hence the name.
Then Substack started turning into a different animal, another social media thing. It became about followers not subscribers, about creating a constant presence, poking others to get attention, advertising how to get more money, an increase in ‘about how to become successful’ posts… Some people had an amassing number of subscribers without really any meaningful writing (both in content and style), yet others with beautiful words and/or powerful intent had so little. All in all it started looking unfair, quite so.
Maybe it was because of this naivety on my side that words mattered, I felt disappointed and stopped. Shall I treat it as a social media thing? Shall I ignore it? For a while I felt resentful.
But at that time I had some paid subscribers and not publishing felt like cheating them. Definitely not my intention. So I changed the game plan: All the posts when published are free for one month and go behind the paywall only after that. I left the option of paid subscriptions on for the archive. I wanted to change the monthly charging amount but Substack dashboard wouldn’t allow to go less than €5/month, so that remained. But instead I settled the yearly subscription rate at €30/year, so it made more sense to me and hopefully seemed fair for the intending reader. That change is still there and I intend to keep it.
Then other questions started forming on my mind: Why should I care? Do I want to keep on writing? Do I want to publish for others to read it? Does it matter how many subscribers I have? What if someone really likes my words, finds them worthy? Isn’t this the reason we are writing, so we can pour out feelings/stories/reasonings and feel acknowledged? Don’t we all want to matter? Don’t we all want to feel less lonely?
So, here we are, today.
I will start publishing my stories again, mostly about food, no exact recipes, no measurements, more of a guideline and hopefully inspiration. And I hope, you read me.
Dear Semsa , i am one of your loyal followers since the old days in Nisantasi… still missing Kantin.. i became a subscriber recently.. İ also made sure İ downloaded any available videos on youtube for my safe keeping. Reading your letter İ could sense the “existential “ questioning which feels in tune to the Semsa , İ got to know thru the years. Direct, sharp but true to herself. All İ want to tell you that , İ understand and its OK for me that my money is spent. For all the years of joy at Kantin, for introducing me to Leiths ( i picked up the books after seeing in your library ) and the free videos i can keep watching, helal olsun .. just do what you need to do .. don't worry..much love from Nisantasi .. Zeynep
Hi Şemsa. I am relatively new here and I just found you via Lisa. I like what you said about how food and stories intermingle, and about guidelines and inspiration and no measurements. I’m here because a couple of years ago I left IG, and hoped returning and choosing Substack would be different. I’m sad to read what you share here. But I very much relate with what you wrote and I’m glad I found you. I often struggle with wanting to focus on stories more, but feeling like many readers are mostly interested in the recipes. I also didn’t learn through detailed recipes full of instructions but by observing my mother, grandmothers, and more recently my uncle who owns a pasta shop in Italy. But I’m not sure what is the best way to teach those recipes without writing it down with as much detail as possible (unless I’m doing it in person, of course). I’m playing with videos a little. Anyway. I look forward to reading your posts!! Sorry for the long comment.